Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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