I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
