I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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