Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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