I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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