He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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