I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
