woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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