new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
