are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude i'm inner monologue high
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
