I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize