someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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