Christians are straight up FREAKS
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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