im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think a kid would responsible me up
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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