Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
