Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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