If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
