Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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