I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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