She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
