p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
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Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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