In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
