tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
