It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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