What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
