I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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