You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
