Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
