I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
