u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
