I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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