Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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