I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
