1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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