I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
