Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
