My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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