wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
