Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
