I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
