the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
