I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
