how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
