She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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