East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
