I got chris browned last night
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
