Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
