it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
