If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
