two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
