whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
