Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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