Having a random hookup so left but love u
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
