I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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