I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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