Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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