Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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