Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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