She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
