I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ugly people sure do ruin things
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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