Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Houston, we have a blender
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
