i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
