Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize