it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I will pee on everything he values.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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