I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am spending my child support on dildos
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize