Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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