i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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