Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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