my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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