dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize