I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
