There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
