I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
