Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
